Nope I didn’t misspell it. No, I’m not crazy (ok maybe a little.) I purposely wrote, Joy comes in the “mourning”. “Now Jess”, you may ask, ”How in the world can joy and mourning be intertwined?” I know, I know; these words seem contradictory, especially in the sense that the world thinks of joy. Joy is usually described as feeling extremely happy and is associated with times full of fun, laughter, and success. New babies bring joy. Graduations bring joy. Weddings bring joy. Birthdays bring joy. Summer time, sitting by the ocean with the soft breeze kissing your face and a good book in your hand; now that’s joy.
I want to propose to you, backed by Jesus Himself, that joy can be found in the midst of trials; it can be found when you are feeling confused, when you don’t know which way to turn, and when something or someone you love has been taken away.
I have been meditating on this idea and the Lord brought to mind several verses. They gave me such hope. Let me share them with you.
Isaiah 45:3- “I will give you treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places.”
Psalm 94:19- “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”
Psalm 149:5- “Let the saints rejoice in this honor and sing for joy in their beds.”
Isaiah 30:20- “ Though the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and water of oppression, yet your Teacher will no longer hide Himself, but your eyes will (constantly) see your Teacher that you may know that I, the Lord, who calls you by your name, am the Lord of Israel.”
Psalm 16:11- “In Your presence is fullness of joy.” (Please pay special attention to this one.)
Let me give you the definition of joy that I found in the dictionary. Joy is “a strong sense of contentment, elation, or triumph.”
Basically, the Lord is telling us, through these verses, that contentment, elation, and joy are found in their fullest form, when we are in His presence. Joy is not found in a circumstance or in happy times but in Him. He is joy. I don’t know about you, my friend, but I find myself closest to Him when I am hurting or when I am disappointed rather than when I am happy and all of my dreams have come true. Excruciating pain has made me cling to Him and soak in His embrace. Times of confusion have led me to seek Him for guidance. Periods of anxiety and fear of the unknown, have driven me to the One who knows everything and is in control of all circumstances.
Here are some specific, personal examples, of Jesus in the especially hard times of my journey. I have cried out, “Jesus, I need You”, “Jesus, I need You”, “Jesus, I need You”, as I was being wheeled, on a gurney, to the ambulance.
I was in the hospital. I had been continuously bleeding from my mouth and the doctors did not know why. They put me on blood clotting medicine so I would not bleed out. I was sitting there, during one of my episodes, and all of a sudden a little clot of blood came out that looked exactly like a heart. It was beautiful to me- a note straight from the heart of Jesus saying He was still with me and the He still loved me. I know that may seem crazy to some, maybe even a little bit too much, but to me it was a treasure in the darkness.
I have had to mourn the loss of who I thought I was and what my life was going to look like. I have lost my ability to speak understandably, eat, and enjoy sports and certain adventures with my nephews. I have found myself crying over the fact that I am not married and do not have the children I had dreamed of having for so many years. There were times it seems like the shattered pieces of my life would never be put back together and that my light had burnt out.
Have you been there? Are you there now? Are tears streaming down your face as your heart is breaking. Is fear welling up inside, as you think of your future without the one you love or the thing you treasured. Is anxiety rearing it’s ugly head as you have just lost your job and don’t know how you will provide for your family. Have you found yourself in a sick bed, unable to do the ministries you once truly enjoyed doing for His glory. Are you feeling lonely? Have people let you down? Then friend, out of the midst of darkness and mourning, may you be still and feel Jesus lifting up your head towards Himself, giving you a kiss, and saying “but my child, I am still here and I will never ever leave you or forsake you. Just hold on to my nail scarred hand and walk in the light of my promises and true joy will be yours in abundance.
Yes, joy will come in the morning, but sometimes the deepest joy is found in the mourning.
