“Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10

Hello friends, Im sorry it has been so long since I have written, but I felt the Lord kind of had me on hold for a while. I was waiting for inspiration and today I said something to my mom and she said oh Jess, you have to write that on your blog. So here I am. lol

The past few weeks for me have been a complete roller coaster ride. On Father’s Day I was at my sister’s house getting ready to serve my freshly baked apple pie when all of the sudden I see my dad standing over me. I had fallen and had no awareness of what had happened and no one saw me fall. I banged up my face pretty bad and fractured my hand in 2 places. We figured I had just passed out for some reason. I was taken by ambulance to the ER. At the ER they super glued me head and discovered that my white blood cell counts were high. Two days later I was feeling light headed at home and so I sat on the floor. Again, the next thing I know my dad was standing over me but this time I felt like I was suffocating. It was the scariest experience of my life. I was crying out for Jesus and begging the paramedics to help me. I then found out I had stopped breathing and went stiff and started shaking. My dad had to give me mouth to mouth. Again I was taken to the hospital by ambulance. They said I must have had a seizure. They did a MRI of my head and while doing that they discovered that my carotid artery was “severely narrowed”. Obviously that was very concerning. They wanted me to have a special CT scan of my carotid artery, which I did. During that scan they confirmed that my artery was narrowed (although moderately not severely) up near my brain but more than that they said that my lymph nodes were enlarged and they suspected cancer. Also, they discovered that my C1 and T1 of my spine both were fractured. I then was told I had to have a biopsy of my lymph nodes. I went to ear nose and throat and the doctor could not feel the lymph node so he said he could not perform the biopsy. For this reason he had to send me to interventional radiology to have a procedure where it is done under ultrasound but I also was going to be given something to “make me comfortable”. Now for those of you who don’t know, I have had a bad experience with medicines that were supposed to make me out of it. When I had my feeding tube placed I was supposed to be “unaware” but I was completely awake and felt everything!!!!!! It was traumatizing to say the least. Due to this experience the thought of having a needle stuck in my neck while on those meds made me feel very very very nervous. I felt like I was going to vomit.

I was sitting before the Lord and having a conversation. I was telling Him I was overwhelmed by my circumstances. (As If He didn’t know) A fall (busting my head and fracturing my hand in 2 places), followed by a seizure ?(which we still don’t know if that is what I had), followed by finding out I had a high white blood cell count, followed by finding out I had 2 fractures in my neck and back followed by the news of enlarged lymph nodes that might be cancer….) LORD THIS IS TOO MUCH. Then a thought hit me. It is a simple elementary thought but it meant a lot to me. It’s as if the Lord was telling me, “Jessica, think about the word nervous. If you take the nerv (nerve) out of that word it becomes O US.” He was saying don’t look at the circumstance look at the fact that Oh its us, Jesus in I in this together.

My friend, whatever you are facing today may seem impossible. The waves may be towering over your head, the fire may be 4x hotter than normal, the lions you are being thrown to make look ferocious but don’t focus on that. Focus on the fact that Jesus is with you in the circumstance. He, with a word can calm the storm. He can walk with you in the fire and you will not be burned. Those lions that look so terrifying turn into pussy cats when they are in the presence of Jesus. Remind yourself of who you are walking this life with. The Maker of Heaven and Earth is on your side. The nail pierced hands of the Savior are holding yours as you trod this path of life. If He loved you enough to die for you than He surely loves you enough to cary you through the terrifying circumstance.

Needless to say, today I had my biopsy. There was some anxiety but there was also the peace that passes understanding overriding that anxiety. Jesus was holding my hand. I saw His presence in all the little details, even down to having a born again nurse.

I don’t know the results of the biopsy yet. Regardless of what it turns out to be, one thing I know for sure, I’m not walking through it alone. My Savior walks by my side. Life is not just about the journey but who your traveling companion is. As Christians, we have the best traveling companion ever. Those scary mountains can be a total adventure when you have the mountain mover walking with you.

So, my friend, let the joy of the Lord be your strength today. Look to Him and get ready for a hike you will never forget. Remember your trail guide made the trails and He’s holding your hand through it all.