Well, dear friends, I said I would be open and honest with you, and I do not want to go back on that promise- so here it goes…
For about a month now, I have been having laryngitis like symptoms. My voice is like a whisper and I find it very hard to breath when I talk- it’s almost like I’m hyperventilating. At first I thought it was my asthma, so I went on prednisone and upped my breathing treatments. That did not seem to be helping and so I set an appointment to see my ENT doctor, just to make sure nothing was going wrong with my throat. (All the while having it in the back of my mind that that’s what it could be.) Anyways, today was the day I saw my doctor. The news was definetely not what I wanted to hear. It seems that the one vocal chord I had, that was somewhat functional, is now giving out on me. Therefore, I am basically talking using a half of a vocal chord, a paralyzed tongue, and practically non-existant soft palate. Due to the fact that both of my vocal chords do not come together like they should when I talk, the air is leaking out too fast from my lungs, making it much harder for me to breathe. The verdict, from a medical perspective, is that this is my “new normal” and there is a chance, down the road, that I could loose my ability to talk completely.
If I am being completely honest with you, I feel like I have just been given a life long prison sentence- trapped in my own body. Many times I know exactly what I want to say, but I cannot communicate it in a intelligible way. Plus, physically it is much harder for me because I am basically gasping for air when I talk. I am kind of overwhelmed and tired. There is nothing that the doctors can do about my situation.
I feel as if I am sinking and so I am taking my burdens to the Only One who can help- Jesus. I know what the doctors say, and I know what my emotions are telling me. Right now, however, I have to just look at the truth.
The Lord is still sovereign in my prison
The Lord is still good in my prison
The Lord is still present in my prison
The Lord is still my joy in my prison
The Lord is still my hope in my prison
The Lord hears my cries in my prison
The Lord is still my Sustainer in my prison
Therefore, like Paul and Silas, I can still sing in my prison.
Friends, I ask for your prayers today. Please pray that I will keep my eyes focused on Jesus. Pray that praise will flow from this prison cell and that the Lord will be glorified.
liv4hvn 
Jessie, I love you so incredibly much. As your older sister, I often wish it was me in your place. I wish that I could take away your pain and make everything all better. I know I can not do that, but what I am committed to do is to pray. I am committed to bring your life before the throne of grace. As hard as I prayed when I wanted a baby sister… I will continue to pray over you! You are and always will be my answer to prayer.
I am encouraged that God is all powerful. I know for a fact that He can change any circumstance. If He chooses not to it is ONLY because He knows that this “temporary, light affliction is NOTHING compared to the eternal weight of glory.” This early journey can feel so long and overwhelming, but it will be only a millisecond in the scope of eternity. Your life for His glory is both an inspiration and an encouragement to all those around you. I ADORE you and am so thankful that we get to walk together. “Though the outer man is decaying, the inner man is being renewed day by day!” We have the promise of God with us. He is holding every fiber of our being together and putting iron into our souls. He promises to give us inner strength so that our spirit can carry our bodies. One day we will no longer be groaning in our tents, we will be forever in our eternal home. Each day we live we are one day closer to the finish line. I am so thankful that we will cross hand in hand! Love you tons sis! Don’t you ever forget it and in case you do… I am ALWAYS here to remind you.
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Thank you sis 💗. I love you so much and am very grateful that I do not walk this journey alone. I know you have your own prison of pain that you endure. May we lift up our voices together- even prison bars cannot keep out praise.
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Jessica Hyde, you are very intelligent. God says his grace is sufficient for me.(you). We’re all praying for you and I know he has a plan for you.
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Thanks Jim🙂
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I know it can be considered bad news. But God will still use you to encourage others with your sweet spirit. It’s not a prison, it’s a challenge that you will work through. I’m sure your faith will strengthen you and your friends will still love you. I’m rooting for you!
Love Tracy
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Thank you Tracy 💗
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Oh, Jessica! My heart bleeds for you. It seems you have a new challenge every day!! I can relate to your concerns about losing your ability to talk because, since I have lost my hearing, I have lost communication with friends while in a public setting. I can talk but I can’t hear answers so can’t carry on a very lengthy or in-depth conversation. Perhaps you and I should learn sign language so, at least, we could communicate with each other! LOL!!
I wish there were something I could do to help you but rest-assured you will remain in my daily prayers! You are such an inspiration to all of us and God has given you physical beauty as well as a beautiful soul! You are so loved!! Don”t despair. God is good!!
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Thank you so much 💕. I know some sign- so I’d be happy to do sign language with you 😉. Love you lots.
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There are no words Jessica…you have been in my thoughts and prayers since I first read your post. What a difficult journey the Lord has asked you to travel. I’m glad He walks it with you 💕 Even in the darkness you shine the Lord’s goodness and He is so honored. Cheering you on and praying for a miracle 🌸 Psalm 143:7. Psalm 112:4
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Thank you so much💗. I truly appreciate and cherish the prayers!
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